Femininity, Change, Beauty, and Influence

Darling Magazine is currently doing series of articles called “Twelve Days of Darling” which refocuses and establishes who Darling is and what their mission really means to its people. They are taking pieces of their mission and asking their readers to reflect on it. Personally, I love the concept of Darling and I look forward to see it grow and develop. Here is the Darling mission as a whole…

Day 1- What does femininity mean to you? Does it need to be reshaped in our culture?

Femininity. To me femininity means grace, class, and compassion. When I look up to women because they are feminine, they usually carry those traits. Femininity is holding yourself to a higher standard. It is having a certain aura which inspires the respect of males. It is being graceful in any situation, including clumsiness. It is keeping your speech pure and inspiring others to do the same. It is holding your baby for the first time. It is having kindness and forgiveness towards others, and yourself. Femininity is putting makeup on in the morning and taking it off at night.

Our culture does not support the idea of femininity; feminists removed that freedom long ago. If a woman shows femininity and speaks out about its benefits, society hushes her. Below, there are two pictures of the same girl. Our culture views the actions and behavior of the girl on the right as being feminine because she is being a strong female. However I believe our instincts tell us a different story. Between the two pictures, which is your view of femininity?

We place so much value on being strong and powerful that we fail to acknowledge that femininity is strength and has power. I believe the concept of femininity needs to be brought back to our culture. The idea that women should be allowed to be feminine again is one I support.

Day 2- What does it mean to be a catalyst? How can you be a positive vehicle of change in your circle of influence, regardless of its size?

A catalyst is a person or event that quickly causes change or action. To be a catalyst, a person would have to stand up and speak out for change to happen. They must be willing to take action to cause action. Being a vehicle of change, or a catalyst, in everyday life could be as simple as smiling as you grocery shop. It could be complaining less. It could be helping a friend with something they need. When those little, everyday parts of life become better the big parts become better.

Day 3- Vanity is defined as being excessively absorbed in one’s own appearance or accomplishments. How is beauty distinctly different from vanity?  

Beauty is something that originates from inside of us, while vanity is the search for attention from others. Beauty is hope. It is serving others, not being self-centered. Beauty is the moment, not the glamour shot. It is joy. Beauty is confidence, not arrogance. Often we can be surprised by beauty, where it lies, because beauty is unexpected, dirty, intricate and complicated. It is distinctly different because true beauty cannot be faked, or bought, or made.

Day 4- What is the difference between a manipulator and an influencer? Can we be one and not the other? How?

Manipulation is to change in a skillful way for a particular purpose while influence is having the power to cause change without directly forcing it. I believe the main difference between a manipulator and an influencer is that a manipulator is directly forcing change while an influencer simply has the indirect power to cause change. Manipulation is blindness while influence is trust. It is entirely possible to be one and not the other, and doing so requires honesty, humility, and love. We can be great influencers if we are honest with one another, if we use what power we carry without pride, and doing it all in love.